Confidence Is Remembering
A North Star for Women in Transition
This morning I woke up with a question:
Is it okay to be me?
It wasn’t loud.
It was quiet, almost like background noise. But it was there—lingering just beneath my thoughts as I prepared for the day.
It’s a question I’ve asked before.
Especially when I’m about to take up space.
Especially when I’m leading among my peers.
Especially when I feel the weight of being both seen and shaped at the same time.
And I realized something today:
This isn’t self-doubt.
It’s a signal that I’m in transition.
Transitions Take Our Memory
When we’re in seasons of transition—grief, growth, midlife shifts, career pivots—we don’t just feel uncertain.
We often forget who we are.
We forget our strengths.
We forget our confidence.
We forget what we look like when we’re well-nourished, grounded, clear.
That’s why having a North Star version of yourself matters—not as pressure to always “be on,” but as a map to return to.
What Does My Best Self Look Like?
For me, it looks like a healthy Enneagram Nine with a Three wing.
But even if the Enneagram isn’t your tool of choice, the idea is simple:
✨ What does it look like when I’m well?
✨ When I’m aligned, clear, soft but steady?
✨ When I move through the world with rooted confidence, not performative pressure?
When I’m at my best, I am:
Calm in my presence but powerful in my convictions
Willing to take up space—not to prove anything, but to embody something
A builder and a beacon
A woman who trusts what I built in the dark, even if the world hasn’t seen it yet
A leader who gives permission to fluctuate without shame
Confidence Is Not Always Loud
Confidence isn’t being “up” all the time.
Confidence is knowing what “up” feels like—and learning how to gently walk back to it when you’ve drifted away.
This is especially vital for women in midlife.
Because many of us are:
Navigating perimenopause, burnout, or reinvention
Forgetting things we used to know instinctively
Feeling more and more “in between” versions of ourselves
We need reminders.
Not just of who we were—but who we are becoming.
The Role of Voice in the Transition
Sometimes, when I speak boldly or share reflections like this, I get the blank stare.
You know the one.
That “I’m not sure what you just said, but I think I needed it” kind of look.
And for a long time, that stare scared me.
But I’m learning that the blank stare doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
It means I’m speaking a language they forgot they knew.
That’s what this leadership season is about for me:
Being a voice of remembrance.
Not because I have it all figured out, but because I know how to return.
Final Thought: It Is Okay to Be You
If you’ve forgotten what your best self looks like—take heart.
That self is not gone.
She’s just waiting for your return.
And maybe, just maybe, confidence isn’t about knowing exactly where you’re going.
Maybe it’s about remembering how to come home to yourself.
Reflection Questions for the Nourished Leader
When I’m at my best—emotionally, spiritually, professionally—what do I notice about myself?
(What does my energy feel like? How do I move through the world?)What are the signs that I’m starting to forget who I am?
(What thought patterns, behaviors, or sensations show up when I’m in a depleted or disconnected state?)What helps me remember the version of me that feels grounded, bold, and whole?
(Think: rituals, people, environments, phrases, songs, foods, movements, etc.)Can I recall a recent moment when I felt like my most nourished self?
What was happening in that moment—and how can I recreate the conditions that made it possible?What is one gentle reminder I can return to when I feel lost in transition or doubt?
(You might write it down, speak it aloud, or place it somewhere you’ll see it often.)How can I honor the fluctuations of my seasons without losing sight of my North Star?
(What grace practices help me navigate the messy middle?)What does confidence feel like in my body—not as performance, but as presence?
What version of me am I walking toward right now?
(And how can I celebrate the small ways she’s already showing up?)
Want Help Finding Your North Star?
If you’re in a season of transition and asking,
“Who am I now?” or “What does my best self even look like anymore?”—you don’t have to figure it out alone.
I offer 1:1 North Star Sessions to help you:
Reconnect with your most grounded, powerful self
Identify your confidence blueprint (what nourished actually feels like for you)
Create a personal rhythm to return to when the world feels shaky
This is soulful, strategic clarity work—rooted in who you are, not just what you do.
If that speaks to you, book a North Star session here
(or reach out if you’re curious and want to chat first).